Week Seven in Renewing Our Minds

As we’ve moved through our Renewing Our Minds series, we’ve explored how we can combat anxiety and sadness and challenges through the renewing of our minds through scripture and mental health tools. 

So we have looked at how to manage difficult emotions- to take difficult thoughts captive.

Today we are going to transition just a bit and look at the question- once you begin to gain a handle on tools to help you manage those hard emotions and moments, how then can you begin to think about what true happiness should look like?

It’s a valuable conversation to have, because if you see happiness through the wrong lens, you may find that you are going after things, relationships, and even experiences that don’t actually make you happy, and might even be making you miserable!

Let’s start by looking at what we may think happiness is, but it really isn’t. 

One: Happiness isn’t “doing what feels good.”

We may feel happiness when we watch a funny movie, or have a great conversation, or even find an outfit we love. We may feel happy because of a great meal. We may feel happy because we achieve the grade we want in a class, or get the job we think we want. 

But all of these feelings are moments. Moments can feel good, and moments can become memories we treasure. 

But happiness that sustains isn’t momentary. It is deeper and more meaningful, and grounded in a foundation that can weather the good moments but also the difficult ones.

God does want us to be happy, and in scripture he says over and over that happiness is found in a relationship with Him.

Psalm 32:11 Rejoice in the Lord

Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the Lord

Psalm 100:2 Worship the Lord with gladness

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord

So, happiness isn’t a moment or even a series of moments.

Two: Happiness isn’t something you can grab, or that you deserve, right now.

To discuss this one, we turn our attention once again to what we are exposed to, every day, in the world.

Media and advertising are all about making you want to click, in order to get. 

Click here to get the outfit, the story, the skincare, the jewelry, the car… you know what we’re talking about here because you’ve clicked, just like we have.

The dominant themes in marketing will always be: you deserve this, and you can have it right now if you click or call or join or go to your nearest…

But we know that getting that car or watch or even relationship is about instant gratification. It’s about the dopamine hit. And as we’ve discussed all along, we aren’t meant to live with dopamine coursing through our bloodstreams all the time. And dopamine isn’t lasting- and definitely isn’t lasting happiness.

As unpleasant as the truth may be, we often find much more satisfaction in delayed gratification. 

Getting up early is painful but the feeling of productivity later in the day can be amazing.

Exercising can often be painful- or just miserable- but feeling clear headed and strong feels good (later).

Saving money isn’t as fun as clicking that link and buying that random hoodie, but being able down the road to afford a house for your family yields huge dividends in joy and pride and satisfaction.

So- happiness isn’t about getting what you want right now. As we’ll discuss when we look at ACT therapy and happiness, happiness is more about living out your values and pursuing the most meaningful goals.

(And also: why does it seem that people who run a marathon are always so crazy happy afterwards? 😉

Three: Happiness isn’t determined by your immediate  circumstances.

Even if you can say that you are happy with your life and where you are in your life, you will still discover that happiness and joy will come and go, because God will always give you challenges to help you grow.

What you possess, what your title is, where you live- none of these immediate circumstances are the keys to happiness.

Happiness isn’t about the situation, it comes from your dependence on God and your trust in his provision- no matter what your circumstances. 

Now let’s look at some ACT concepts surrounding happiness

ACT therapy ideas about happiness:

First; we are meant to ebb and flow, rise and fall. 

Just like we appreciate a warm sunny day more after enduring a cold damp one, we appreciate humor and lightness and joy more when we know what it is to feel sad and lack.

ACT is about recognizing, acknowledging, accepting, making peace with the truth that life can be hard. We will face challenges. Life can be downright brutal even.

And through accepting that, we can then appreciate the moments of joy, connection, peace, laughter.

Values-driven actions are ultimately more important than “being happy.”  

Life is essentially a series of moments and we are meant to have some of those moments be truly pleasurable. Whether it’s snuggling with your dog, attending a concert, watching a great movie or reading a great book, or even laughing with your best friend, all of these are moments that bring pleasure- and make us feel happy.

ACT therapy celebrates moments like that as the “highs” in life, but also recognizes that deep and meaningful long-term, deep satisfaction with one’s life is more about the meaning and purpose you bring to your life.

You absolutely should enjoy laughter and music and snuggling and appreciating sunsets and connecting with others!

But life isn’t meant to be lived always riding those highs, and a life well lived will be one where you look back and can say that you lived on purpose, and had the impact you desired to have.

This is where your values-driven actions come into your life. When you have clarity on your values- and you can check out THIS POST here to learn more about how to discover your own personal values- you can then live according to those values.

ACT suggests that the deeper and more meaningful ‘happiness’ is rooted in knowing that you are leading a life that has purpose and impact.

Psychological flexibility is ultimately more useful and life-giving than “being happy.” 

As we’ve discussed previously, life can be hard! We will face challenges all the time, from simple things like the frustrations of traffic, all the way to the deeply painful, things like the loss of a loved one.

ACT therapy uses a term called psychological flexibility to describe the ability to be adaptable and resilient in the face of challenges, dealing with difficult situations without being overwhelmed.

It is impossible to be happy all the time, so the goal instead is to be able to handle the lows as well as you handle the highs. You may not like them but you can recognize that they are part of life. That’s psychological flexibility. 

There are two common meanings of happiness: hedemonia and eudemonia.

The quote below is from one of the founders of ACT Therapy, Dr. Russ Harris: 

“…consider there are two different meanings of happiness. The most common meaning of happiness is a sense of pleasure or contentment; the ancient Greeks called this ‘hedemonia’. (This is where the word ‘hedonism’ comes from.) Less commonly, happiness is defined as a sense of flourishing that arises from living an ethical and meaningful life, wisely guided by one’s core values; the ancient Greeks called this ‘eudemonia’.”

While we can appreciate the moments of hedemonia, we want our happiness to be grounded in eudemonia! And our faith is often a big part of our core values, so eudemonia will certainly be tied to being grounded in our relationship with Jesus. 

Now let’s turn to scripture to consider happiness!

Philippians 4:4-7 and 11-13

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

He has learned the secret. He didn’t know it before, he learned it through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving. 

Paul gives us an example to look to when we face suffering, since he was imprisoned when he wrote it. His message is that God is always greater than anything we may face, and he ultimately will supply all our needs. Joy is a response to knowing the love of Jesus and experiencing his presence.

1 Thessalonians 5:12-28

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances.” NIV

“Always be joyful. Never stop praying.” NLT

Once again, this is Paul speaking, and it is a letter written to the church in the city of Thessalonica. They were new believers and were facing persecution, and his goal was to encourage and remind them that the love of God and being intentional in spreading love was the way to not only find inner happiness but also to assist others. 

Paul says to give thanks IN all circumstances, not FOR all circumstances. This aligns with ACT therapy’s goal to accept one’s situation, and even goes a bit further by encouraging gratitude. Intentional gratitude and thankfulness are ways to take our thoughts captive. 

Gratitude is compatible with ACT therapy because it is a step beyond acceptance. We can practice accepting a difficult situation or feeling or circumstance, and then as we ground ourselves mindfully, we then can make space.

Dropping in and grounding mindfully, then looking around to see what we might be able to say thank you to God for, even while we are being challenged.

And the more we can experience gratitude and rely on God for provision, the closer to true, lasting happiness we will find ourselves. 

True biblical happiness, often described as blessedness or deep-seated joy, is not based on fleeting emotions or circumstances, but on a secure, Spirit-filled relationship with God, obedience to His will, and service to others. It thrives even during trials and is rooted in an eternal perspective. True happiness in the Bible is essentially living in harmony with God’s purpose, which produces peace, righteousness, and joy! 

If you’re interested in discussing content like this in a group setting with young adults who are seeking to deepen their faith in community with others, you might want to join our Mercy Road Outpost! You can find out more here or message us here!

Discussion Questions:

What are situations where you have struggled (or even currently are struggling) with being grateful and staying connected to God because of your circumstances?

Having these tools and scripture in mind, what could you have done, or what could you do, differently?

Have you ever tried a gratitude practice? What could one look like in your life?