Week Three in Renewing Our Minds

As we continue our study on Renewing Our Minds, this week we will look at how what we ingest- with our eyes and ears- will influence how we think! 

You can go back and read over the past two posts to get more insight, but a quick recap on what we have covered so far is that: 

First: our thoughts influence our feelings, which influence our actions and behaviors. And what’s great about this truth is that we have control over, and the ability to change, our thoughts- and therefore change our feelings and behaviors!

And second: we discussed how strongholds are lies we believe, and that we can often ‘fuse’ with difficult thoughts. Both of these create mental and emotional challenges, but we also have the ability to push pause and choose a different thought. 

This week we are going to explore what we take in, and how we can be purposeful about what we take in, in order to pursue things that are holy, and also to improve our mental and emotional well-being! 

So, this study is all about renewing our minds- we have discussed that we can change the habits we don’t like (or build better habits) by changing our thoughts. 

But what is incredibly important to remember: we must not underestimate how much our thoughts are influenced by the outside world. 

As always we are invested in creating a safe and judgment-free zone, so let’s start with one truth:

We live in the world. God made the world. God is at work at every moment in the world. 

So know this: what you have been exposed to in the past, or what you are exposed to even in your current situation- there’s zero judgment in this setting.

You may have had a challenging upbringing. Or like some we know and love, your path may have taken you to fraternity life and a traditional “party” college setting.

Our goal is never to vilify anyone’s past! Or even their current situation! Your circumstances may make it hard to escape ‘the world’ right now. 

Our goal is to talk about you, now, and how you can be mindful about what you choose to let in, where you choose to put your attention, and how you choose to invest in the wellbeing of your heart and spirit.

So let’s talk about it! Let’s start with the idea of input versus output.

We already know- if you want to change your behaviors you must start with taking your thoughts captive, continually renewing your mind. 

And here’s another idea to add to that: if you want to change your thoughts, you must start with your input. 

Our thoughts direct where we go. So how can we be purposeful about our thoughts? 

Changing thought habits, especially those that have been formed over years and even decades, is difficult! But difficult is not impossible, and with tools and resources and community and support, you can do it!

Let’s explore the rule of exposure and the law of cognition

We have looked at the law of cognition before, but to refresh: our thoughts determine who we are. As we think, so we feel, and as we think, so we behave. Our thoughts dictate our feelings and our actions

The rule of exposure says: our thoughts will tend to go along the lines of whatever we’re exposed to the most. In other words- our thoughts are influenced by our input. 

The rule of exposure is sort of a way of ‘normalizing’ your thoughts. If you work in a setting where people gossip about one another, you may begin to feel like it’s normal and okay to gossip. If you listen to the news and frequently hear headlines that talk about how bad things are, you form thoughts that things are bad and to be feared. 

And alternatively, if you spend lots of time with others who are joyful and faith-filled, you begin to form thoughts that it is normal to see the world in that way as well. 

So: what we are exposed to determines our thoughts! 

What we are exposed to is our input. Input is whatever we take in, but input that is consistent and repeated will begin to shape how we think.

And our output is our thoughts.

Let’s say that again. You may think your output is your behaviors- how you treat others, what you do every day. 

And technically, of course, yes it is. But your behaviors begin with your thoughts, right? So your output begins with thoughts. 

And once again, let’s remember the wonder of neuroplasticity! God literally made our brains capable of change! (Thank you, God!)

Revisiting strongholds and cognitive fusion

Because we want everything in this study together to make sense and help us learn and grow, let’s briefly go back to strongholds and cognitive fusion.

You can go back to this post to learn more in-depth but to recap: your strongholds are lies that you believe (likely formed by past hurts and painful habits or patterns), and cognitive fusion is what happens when you get stuck in a thought loop. Cognitive fusion is when you get so tangled up in a thought that challenges you that you can only see it as real and the truth. 

We have habits and patterns that stem from our strongholds and from cognitive fusion.

You think you have a problem with a behavior. You think your problem is that you just can’t stop being judgmental. Or you can’t make yourself exercise. Or you can’t stop drinking. Or being angry. 

But we know now: a behavior problem always begins with a thought problem

So let’s add another layer to understanding our thoughts, so we can take them captive. And that layer is what we take in! To take our thoughts captive, we can influence our input. 

Scripture to consider as we look at renewing our minds and influencing our input: 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ~Philippians 4:8

This scripture is a wonderful one for simply going over those attributes in your mind when you struggle, or even for fortifying and building up your thought practices!

Much as we love to memorize the Fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, memorizing these qualities in our thoughts can give us a direction to begin to take our thoughts captive. 

You can begin to meditate and pray and ask the Spirit to guide you, so that your thoughts become more focused on what is:

• True
• Noble
• Right
• Pure
• Lovely
• Admirable
• Excellent 
• Praiseworthy

Yes, that’s a lot! But you are growing in the Spirit, you have the power within, all you have to do is ask for the support to keep turning your thoughts back, again and again and again!

A second scripture we can lean on:

(Note: We love this in The Message version, but of course do your own study and find the one you love the most!) 

Learn It by Heart

Dear friends, listen well to my words, tune your ears to my voice. Keep my message in plain view at all times. Concentrate! Learn it by heart! Those who discover these words live, really live; body and soul, they’re bursting with health. 20-22

Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts. Don’t talk out both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip. Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust. 23-27

Proverbs 4:20-27

As you read that, and maybe another version or two, what comes up for you? 

Why do you think that guarding your heart or mind should be a priority, based on what you’re learning? And how can you begin to watch your step, so that the road stretches out smooth before you? 

What can we learn from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT therapy) to help us understand these ideas and grow even more?

First: Let’s come back around to strongholds and cognitive fusion.

It is very likely that the problematic thought patterns and where you naturally focus have roots in your strongholds. 

For example, insecurity can make you judgmental. If you feel like you don’t measure up, you may judge others harshly. That stronghold or thought pattern is rooted in the idea that if you can bring others down, you may feel a little less insecure.

Abandonment by a family member or loved one can make you assume the worst about others’ motives or naturally think you are on your own. 

What ACT therapy tells us about how our minds are made.

Our minds naturally want to protect us, and so often these problematic thought patterns aren’t your fault! 

How do we know this? Remember that many many generations ago, life was much harder and dangerous. So, if we sought to be liked, we were safer because we were in a group. As a result, we may naturally compare ourselves and notice how we don’t measure up, all because our ancient brain tells us we must be liked! 

If we were ever mindful of danger, we could avoid being eaten or killed. As a result, we have anxiety, walking around anxious and focused on threats, real or not.

If we replayed negative experiences in our minds, we could learn and not repeat them. As a result, our minds on a negative loop keeps us sad, insecure, and even depressed.

If we were always ready to “fight or flee” (fight) we could take on immediate threats that would pop up around every corner. As a result, we fall into defense mechanisms like procrastination and even numbing out to avoid difficult thoughts and feelings.

 ACT therapy likes the metaphor that your mind can be like a heckling fan.

Your mind can constantly remind you of how you are failing, how you are not enough, how you don’t measure up! And you can think of this as your mind’s backwards way of trying to make you better by telling you how bad you are. (Kind of sounds like the military way of breaking you down to build you up, right?) 

So from ACT therapy, as we work to be mindful of our input, we can lean on the principle of acceptance. 

While we always want to balance grace and truth, and we always want to be challenging one another to grow, when it comes to change, beating yourself up is not how you change.

We don’t change because we feel like a failure. We change because we feel inspired and excited about a future!

And to be able to embrace the possibility of a more positive future, we must make peace with the current (and also the past).

This is about accepting where you are now- especially when it comes to those challenging thought habits.

Because once you can accept that this is where you are, and once you can ground yourself in the present moment when hard feelings come up, then you make space to choose a committed action! 

So let’s recap what we want to work on! 

First: understand that your input matters. 

We live in a broken world. There is ugliness on social media, on the radio, on the news. It’s everywhere. That is the truth as long as you live in the world.

But you have the ability to filter and focus your energy. You can choose to turn off your phone. You can choose to spend time with the people that help you stay in the mental and spiritual space you desire.

Some tips for managing your input:

• Spend less time on social media. Simple, even if it’s not easy. 
• Be mindful of your news source. It is important to have a sense of what is going on in the world, yes. But can you find a source that is unbiased and simply reports the facts, rather than adding an editorial that may villainize one side or another? 
• Spend more time in human conversation with those who help you take in what fills your cup. 
• Spend more time listening to music that fills your cup.
• Spend more time in prayer.
• Spend more time in nature. 
• What else would you come up with? 

Second: Make Philippians 4:8 into a practice.

You can build the practice of focusing on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. 

It can be as simple as working to memorize these attributes, and then do what you can to check your thoughts as they pop up- especially when you feel stressed or overwhelmed or sad. 

What thoughts came before the challenging feelings? And how can you turn those thoughts towards the Philippians 4:8 qualities? 

Third: Be in Christian community! 

We will say this over and over again- who you spend time with matters, if you want to care for your spiritual growth and well being. You may live in a workplace that is not filled with those who share your goals and desires, but that doesn’t mean you can’t seek out those people outside your workplace.

Spending time with those who want to help you grow and do with a loving combination of grace and truth is invaluable.

We at Ready to Hope want to be that to you if you don’t have your people. Please never hesitate to reach out! 

And finally: be kind to yourself in this process. 

As we said in the very beginning- changing thoughts that have been forming for years is not going to be a simple, overnight, flipping of a switch.

Changing habits is hard, but just by reading all the way to hear, you’ve proven you’re up for the challenge.

With love, with accountability, with tools, and with His grace, you can do absolutely anything!