Week Two in Renewing Our Minds

In our last session together, we introduced the idea of our Renewing Our Minds study, and especially the concept that our thoughts create our emotions, and our emotions and thoughts often precede our habits- and so therefore we can change our habits by changing our thoughts!

There is so much hope in that, right?

Your thoughts are habits, just like brushing your teeth.

So they can be changed!

You didn’t start a job with the habit of driving to work, or the routine to get ready, but you did it successfully once the job existed and you had to. So, once you decide you have a need (or even just a desire) to build any other habit, you know it is possible.

Many people can get themselves to their jobs every day, but struggle to get up earlier to work out or read their Bibles. So, are they really incapable of getting up earlier? Or: are they telling themselves a different story about getting up earlier than they do about getting to work?

Your thoughts direct your choices!

Let’s take a look at strongholds

With our hearts set on beginning to focus on things above, it is important to recognize what is pulling you down.

First, know this: while strongholds can be a sensitive topic, we are going to keep it kind of high level for this discussion. Strongholds are a powerful way to look at your past hurts and history, and how painful experiences have influenced where you may feel stuck spiritually, but we can actually discuss strongholds at a higher level. And then when you’re ready to go deeper, you know your Ready to Hope community is here for you!

What we want to think about this week is how we believe lies that keep us stuck.

Lies are thoughts, and strongholds are built on thoughts that keep us stuck.

It can be difficult to explain, but examples will likely make it easier to understand these thought habits and how they can keep you stuck.

So let’s explore a few examples.

If you grow up in a household with a lot of conflict, you may develop a stronghold based on the message that conflict is bad. Then as a result, you retreat and refuse to engage in the face of conflict, even when you are with someone emotionally healthy and you could disagree and it would be okay.

If you watch your father leave your mom and your family, you may develop a stronghold based on the message that men can’t be trusted and marriages don’t last, and so you struggle to be vulnerable and connect, making it hard to find someone you can trust and be close to.

If you grow up in a household where you have a sibling that has special needs or even just emotional needs that require a lot of your parents’ time and attention, you may develop a stronghold based on the idea that you are on your own. The stronghold then looks like you believing that you have to take care of yourself, and so you have a hard time being interdependent and connecting because you are so independent, because that was rewarded.

Does that help with the idea of strongholds? Strongholds are the lies we believe that are based in our experiences, often painful or challenging, that keep us stuck.

Now, let’s look at cognitive fusion!

If you’re here from the land of Bible studies, there is a good chance you’ve never heard the term cognitive fusion. And that’s okay.

As you know, we come from a counseling background, too, and as we’ve shared in the past, one of our favorite approaches is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT therapy).

We love the way that cognitive fusion and strongholds can seem similar in a lot of ways, and that both can benefit from the same approaches in order to move in a healthier direction mentally and emotionally and spiritually, so we wanted to share the idea of cognitive fusion here.

So here goes:

Cognitive fusion is the process of getting so entangled with thoughts that you see them as literal truths rather than just mental events.

That’s an ACT description for cognitive fusion, but how much does that remind you of strongholds?

You have a thought that keeps you stuck. You have a hard time recognizing that it may not actually be true.

Same, same, and maybe a little different, but a lot the same, right?

Other terms for cognitive fusion could be:

Getting stuck
Spinning out
Melting down
Crashing out

Fusing isn’t always dramatic, but it certainly can be. Your thoughts become your reality, and you have a hard time realizing they are just thoughts, and that you can shift thoughts.

Cognitive fusion can happen in the moment, or it can be a habit that you have.

Someone with flying anxiety might fuse with the idea that planes aren’t safe and that every little bump is to be feared.

Someone with a history of being left by people they love might fuse with the idea that they are unlovable, and every time someone disagrees with them or tells them they did something wrong, they assume they are about to be left.

These are just a couple of examples and maybe they are helping you start to think about what you sometimes fuse with, but here’s the important thing:

The things you fuse with the most? Likely related to your strongholds!

Someone with anxiety can feel twisted up in the anxious thoughts.

Someone with perfectionism can feel like they can’t move on unless they get it just right, or show up if they’re not perfectly dressed.

A stronghold rooted in rejection can look like cognitive fusion around “no one likes me” or “I’ll never have real friends.”

Okay so now we have these two ideas: strongholds and cognitive fusion. Perhaps new ways to think about your thoughts. Now comes the hope and the promise!

Let’s look at how we can grow together!

Whether you want to look at it as cognitive fusion or strongholds, what we are working on is changing habits by changing thoughts. We are working on renewing our minds daily, and this week’s tasks will keep us growing in that direction.

We are going to approach it from both a practical approach and a spiritual approach.

Practically: ACT teaches us to defuse from our thoughts

First, we can create distance from our thoughts.

A simple practice is to mindfully observe the thought. You can recognize that it is just a thought.

You are not the thought. You are the one having the thought. And you can even say, “I am noticing that I am having the thought that I am anxious.”

Instead of “I feel anxious,” you step back just a bit and say instead, “I am having the thought that I am anxious.”

Just a little distance. Just a little separation.

Second: we can recognize that a thought is just a story. “I am anxious” is a story you just told yourself that may or may not actually be true, and may or may not be a chance to choose a different story.

Another way to think about stories is that they are ways of interpreting.

Sounds like strongholds right? A stronghold is a reaction to a story that you’ve made powerful in your life, that is based in a lie.

We can learn to observe those thoughts and stories, and then in that extra space we just allowed ourselves, we can change them!

Spiritually, we can look at stories and scripture to help us defuse, and help us release our strongholds

Consider a Mary vs Martha approach.

Jesus visits Mary and Martha:

38 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. 40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”

41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:38-42 NLT

We can think of observing thoughts and defusing as shifting from Martha to Mary mode.

When you feel fused or stuck in stronghold thinking, you can shift to a visual of sitting at Jesus’ feet, letting go of all efforts to change the situation through your efforts.

While certainly there is a time for doing, the beauty comes in knowing when to simply be, with a single point of focus: Jesus.

As a spiritual approach to defusing and releasing strongholds, you might consider this prayer:

“God I surrender my thoughts to you. I don’t want to rely on my mind, I want to rely on you.”

Scriptures to keep top of mind: (and yes, some of these will be repeats from past weeks- because they are that great!)

“Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth” Colossians 3:2 NLT

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

So what are our goals for this week?

First: recognize that all of this, any of these practices, mean relying on God as your source of strength.

3 We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. 4 We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. 5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5

All of these tools, all of the accountability from Christian community, none of it matters unless you’re leaning on Him.

And that’s a good thing! Because what that means is that you can learn, through practice and repetition, to turn back to Him every time a lie pops up that keeps you stuck, or every time you find yourself fusing with a thought.

It won’t be through your power. It will be through His.

Second: armed with the truth that He is the source of all your strength, learn to pay attention and notice when a stronghold begins to take over, or when you fuse with a thought.

Thoughts come before feelings, and both come before action.

So, when you feel a stronghold or some cognitive fusion beginning to creep in, notice: what does it mean for you behaving in the way you truly want to behave?

Your thoughts are at the beginning of the habits.

So we are learning to Renew Our Minds, and choose different thoughts.

And that begins with simply noticing.

Maybe journal:

What thought caused me to feel stuck?
How did that feeling of being stuck influence my actions and decisions?

Third: begin to think big-picture about how you want to show up in the world.

Once you begin to learn how to defuse and release strongholds by noticing them, giving them space, and maybe even sitting at Jesus’ feet like Mary, you then have the emotional, mental, and spiritual space to start changing!

Renewing Our Minds is about taking charge of our thoughts, giving God the power to change us, and then changing who we are by changing our habits.

We have the ability to change everything.

How often you work out
How you care for those you love
How you communicate (even when you’re stressed out or exhausted!)
How you show up at your job

So your final assignment for this week is to start to consider:

Who will I be when I learn how to overcome strongholds and defuse from challenging thoughts?

Don’t hold back. You get to choose who you want to be and how you want to contribute to the Kingdom.

With support and accountability, there’s no limit to how you can grow!

So to recap:

Continuing from last session, we are focusing on Proverbs 4:23, Romans 12:2 and 2 Corinthians 10:3-5.
We are in community, sharing the journey, asking for accountability, sharing our wins and challenges with at least one other person.
We are paying attention to those areas in which our thoughts keep us stuck- so that we can learn to defuse and observe rather than stay stuck.
And we are starting to think about the habits we want to adopt when we no longer are held back by strongholds and cognitive fusion!

Continuing to grow together in faith and purpose, as we Renew Our Minds!