Academic Stressors: the pressure of comparison

We’ve talked about academic stressors including test anxiety, adjusting to the new school year, and not liking a class or a teacher. But what about the stress of comparing yourself to those around you, and feeling like everyone else is smarter than you are?

Once again, this is a stressor that’s about comparison- and comparing ourselves to others is a quick route to feeling lousy. There will always be someone smarter, prettier, more athletic, more coordinated, funnier… right?

But let’s not discount how it feels. And most of us have felt it at one point or another. Maybe you feel confident in most of your English classes, but when you level up and get to the next Spanish class, you feel like everyone else is miles ahead, and you are simply trying to survive. 

So today let’s talk about the academic stress of feeling like you don’t measure up.

You might call it imposter syndrome. If you’ve never heard of imposter syndrome, it is when you feel like a fraud, either academically or professionally. You’re in a position where you feel like if everyone only knew the truth, they’d realize that you’re not smart enough or experienced enough or capable enough to really be in that class, or that job, or get that promotion at work. 

And it feels awful. Not only are you stressed about not being able to do the work you have been given to do, but you’re stressed about people finding out that you really don’t belong there! 

So, what can you do about it? 

First: actually be sure you are where you are supposed to be. 

If you’ve just leveled up in a class and you feel like everyone else is grasping the material and you’re not, take the time to assess if you really are placed appropriately. 

This might be a good time to check in with your teacher or professor. They might be able to reassure you that your grade in the previous class is an indicator that you will be able to succeed in this class, or that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed in the beginning. They might also help you with what you can be doing to feel more successful in the class. And, it’s always a positive to be sure the teacher knows you care and want to succeed! 

And maybe you do need to move out of the class- in which case, it’s good to be communicating with your teacher or counselor or advisor, and get that move happening as soon as possible so you can get started in another class!

Next: take a moment to assess if your feelings are valid, or just anxiety causing self-doubt.

Sometimes anxiety can cause us to shut down, making it harder to focus and really tap into what we know. It is possible that your imposter syndrome is doing just that. So, assuming you have checked to be sure you are placed in the appropriate class, you might want to try to objectively look at the facts. If you earned a strong grade in the previous class, it is possible that you will be just fine, and simply need to reassure yourself of that. 

Set realistic expectations

So what if you’ve been able to gather that you are appropriately placed, and you should be able to succeed in the class, but you still feel overwhelmed and that everyone else is smarter?

It might be helpful to try to get really clear on what would be reasonable expectations for the class. Maybe you’re used to being a solid B student, but in this class that may be a stretch. Most of us have at least one subject or class where we just can’t perform to the level we’re used to- and that’s okay!

One example in the Johnson household is Calc 2 in college. It is a hard class even for math people, but if you aren’t planning to be an engineer and don’t have that super-smart math brain? It’s a very. Hard. Class. 

So, from mom and dad (we had the exact same experience) on through our boys, our advice was: you need it to graduate. Do whatever you can to get a C and get out!

Lowering the standard to just getting a C took the pressure off to try to absolutely dominate the class, and we all squeezed through with that C! 

The point being: sometimes by simply making peace with a lower grade than you’re used to can give you a little extra breathing room and peace with whatever you are able to accomplish.

Embrace a growth mindset

If you haven’t yet heard of a growth mindset, get ready for something great. It can be a game changer! 

You can do a little googling to find out more, but the essence of a growth mindset is to recognize that the process of growing and being uncomfortable in the name of doing something hard is a good thing! Additionally, a growth mindset is one that says that the effort is more important than the outcome- so simply by working hard and doing your best, you are growing, no matter the outcome.

Think about the class as an opportunity to gain new skills and to grow in your knowledge of the subject matter, and you might find that that new perspective makes it a little less unpleasant, and maybe even a little more fun!

Stay in your own lane 

I love this phrase and use it whenever I find myself worrying about what someone else is doing!

This can apply to just about anything, if we’re being totally honest. When you look left or right and see someone who seems to be smarter or cuter or more athletic or funnier? Remind yourself that you have control over only one person: you.

You can control your effort. You can control your attitude. And you can control your perspective. 

When you shift your gaze away from what others are doing or have, you can put your head down, look straight ahead and stay in your own lane.

What is even better? The energy you were using worrying about what others are doing, you now have to focus on what you want to accomplish and how you want to present yourself to the world!

As always: remember you are not alone 

As always. You are not alone with these feelings. 

You are not the only one feeling these feelings. Pretty much everyone compares themselves to others, many of us many times each day! 

And because we’re all having these shared experiences, you can remind yourself that it’s okay to sometimes feel like you’re not measuring up.

It’s okay. But that doesn’t mean you have to live with it.

You can connect with people who care and want to support you and want to help you feel like the best version of yourself.

Ready to Hope workshops, clubs, and presentations are available to you!

You can find out more about workshops here, or send us a message anytime!

Until next time, remember: your best is always good enough. Keep on keeping on, and when you need support, we got you.