How Values-Based Self Care Will Help You End the Body Image Struggle!
This week we continue the conversation about how to attain and maintain a positive body image. Hopefully you’ve been along for the ride with us the past few weeks, but if not, head on back and check out those posts because they’re setting us up for something good!
We have looked at how social media and your upbringing certainly will play a role in your body image and how you care for your body.
We have explored your values, including defining what values are and why they matter, as well as given you a chance to spend some time honing in on your own personal values.
Finally, we have looked at how your values can help you begin to create “I am” statements which can help you choose the actions that support your values as you choose the self-care activities that align with those values.
Today, we want to put values into action very specifically when it comes to your body self care.
Specifically, we want to embrace values-based self care.
This is so, so different from any diet or exercise plan you’ve ever seen on TikTok or Instagram.
This isn’t about rules or counting or measuring.
It’s most definitely not about beating yourself up or regret or guilt.
This is a proactive, positive way to begin to approach how you care for your body!
So what goes into values-based self care, and how can it support your mental wellness?
Last week we looked at how you can drill down and choose the top three to five values that feel that they truly represent how you want to show up in the world.
Those values are about how you want to treat yourself, and others, and how you want to be remembered, as well as what you want people to say about you.
Today, we will explore how you can apply your values to your habits surrounding your self care.
Big picture, what goes into self care?
- Nutrition
- Movement
- Rest
- Connections
- Mental and emotional and spiritual self care
- Whatever else you choose- this is your list, not mine!
Once you know your values and how you want to show up in the world and what you want people to be able to say about you, you can then create a values-based body kindness plan based upon it!
What is the goal here?
We are pushing back against anything restrictive. We are pushing back against anything that feels unnatural or forced.
We are embracing caring for our bodies in a way that feels caring, kind, nurturing, and positive.
We absolutely want to encourage movement, eating nutritious and beautiful foods, getting plenty of rest! We want to encourage those simple principles of eating well and moving well.
But you are in charge. It is all about you, finding out what makes you feel amazing, and staying connected to your values so you can do those things as often as possible.
It’s also about you, knowing you won’t be perfect, and embracing kindness when you feel like you’ve gone sideways.
Kindness matters, and that’s never more true than when you talk to yourself about yourself.
What I want to do is get your creative juices flowing with some examples, but I want to be super clear: caring for your body in a way that supports your mental wellness is about you knowing what makes you feel your best.
And also: you always have the ability to shift! This is you, learning to care for you, and if something feels forced or you don’t like it, you get to change it up!
How to embrace values-based self care
- Step One: Define your values. Have them front and center.
- Step Two: Apply your values to actions that support your physical, emotional, and mental wellness.
Sounds simple, right? It is, and at the same time, it will be a practice, and work in progress.
The idea here is to simply start, and then adapt and shift. You’ll likely be adapting and shifting for as long as you live, and that’s wonderful! As your work and the demands on your time and energy change, and as your body changes with time, what makes you feel amazing will change.
So, for this chapter of your life, you want to explore the areas of:
- Nutrition
- Fitness
- Rest
- Connections
- Mental and emotional and spiritual self care
- And whatever you want to prioritize to feel your best!
- And then create a plan based on your values that feels like how you want to live in this world and how you want to take care of your body
Let’s look at an example!
Step One: Define my values
- Presence
- Hope
- Compassion
- Faith
- Family
Step Two: Apply my values to actions that support my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being
Tip: This list can be as long as you need it to be! Create as many statements as you need!
- Because I value being present, I choose to work out first thing in the morning so that I am not distracted by trying to figure out when I can get a workout in.
- Because I value being present, I choose to work out, because I know that my workout helps me clear my head to face the day.
- Because I value compassion, I choose to avoid strict or rigid rules about how I eat
- Because I value my family and I want to be around for a long time, I strive to eat well as often as I can
- Because I value my family, I know that flexibility is essential where my workouts and nutrition are concerned, because I want to be present with those I love rather than strict and regimented
- Because my faith is important to me, I strive to love myself like I know God loves me, and to be a beacon of hope and positivity
Are you getting the idea?
None of this is about X number of workouts per week, or X calories burned, or X calories consumed (or avoided)!
The shift away from diet mentality can be a challenging one!
Let’s be honest. Our society has conditioned us to believe that the answer to our body “issues” is the next diet or gym membership or workout plan.
It is easy to default to that.
You feel lousy in your body sometimes. We all do. It can be because of a weekend (or week or month) of overindulging. It can be because of your hormones. There are any number of reasons you might not feel your best.
It then becomes easy to tell yourself you need a plan to feel better.
But the plan that is kind and compassionate and can continue to serve you and be kind and compassionate for the rest of your life?
It is the ability to tune back into how you want to feel, what you deeply value, and what actions you know from experience will make you feel your best.
We are talking about a mindset shift, yes.
But what’s even better? Actions that support your mindset. Putting your mindset into actionable steps where you can feel yourself experiencing positive momentum!
Putting your new mindset into action
The goal: have your actions support your values.
Once you know how you want to show up in the world by defining your values, it is possible you’ll discover a lifestyle that works for you.
For example, I love to run!
And running is one of the best exercises for mental health, so by all means, those of us who love running should run!
And so for me, I may have found a rhythm with my running where I love 30 miles a week. I feel strong and my head feels clear and I love 30 miles a week when the weather and my body cooperate.
That number used to be 40. But over the years my values have helped me see the reasons to cut those miles down.
See how it works? Yes, I have a running routine. But it’s not a running plan based upon how many calories I need to burn. It’s a running routine based upon what makes me feel my best!
By all means: adopt habits that make you feel amazing!
But be mindful- the more you can make your habits connect to your values and less to rules or restrictions from the outside world, the greater the likelihood you’ll find that your habits support your mental wellness!
This is a practice, and it will take time.
It will take time to get to where you learn to trust your values to guide you, rather than defaulting to seeking out someone else’s diet or exercise plan.
It will take time and lots of practice to go on social media and not allow the comparison game to take you down.
But it’s a journey worth taking! It’s a path that only reaps peace and self-kindness and self-compassion.
And when you are kind and compassionate with yourself, you have so much more in the tank to show up and be kind and compassionate with others.
And all of us feel better when we know we’re putting goodness out in the world.
So if it’s hard, just remember: when you care for yourself, you’re helping make the world a better place!
